Homework From My Therapist

My new therapist Stem van Helsing send me these questions to establish what kind of artist I am. I hope that he can point out in what group I belong as sometimes I feel as if I am alone on the world.


1. Imagine you are a musician. What you most enjoy about it?

I imagine I play the flute and I realised I hate the sound so much that I first was thinking to stick it in Quan Lavender as she seems to like items with the size of a flute but after I realised that my new therapist might say that would be part of a next hate speech of me so I think I would get a metal saw and divide the flute in little metal rings to make a design floor out of it.

2. If you could choose, which of the following would you prefer to be? A sculptor, a dancer, a poet or a singer?

A dancer of course as that is the only way to make huge attachments move in a virtual space in interaction with other performers from all over the world. A sculptor in SL is a prim gluer of dead things, a poet needs lip-sync and a singing avatar has still to be invented although I have a singing leek in my inventory.

3. Of the different phases of creating something, your favourite is?

Stem van Helsing: Your relationship with the materials you use?

SaveMe Oh: Since when pixels are a material?

Stem van Helsing: Finally showing your work to the world?

SaveMe Oh: Finally? When I was born and shit for the first time I already showed my work to the world!

Stem van Helsing: Discovering what the work you have created can tell you about yourself?

SaveMe Oh: As my fucking new therapist I hope I can expect you answer that bullshit questions yourself!

Stem van Helsing: Making your ideas come to life?

SaveMe Oh: If you keep standing in my way my idea may become your death. Oops, sorry, that is maybe a tiny little death threat. I need more therapy.

4. To be creative, the most important thing is to?

Stem van Helsing: Feel a basic need to be creative?

SaveMe Oh: I feel a basic need to strangle idiots who use the word creative! Josina is creative, Merlina is creative, Betty is creative, I am an artist!

Stem van Helsing: Dare to look inside your own soul?

SaveMe Oh: Phone the devil and ask if you can investigate my soul for scientific purposes.

Stem van Helsing: Love your art?

SaveMe Oh: The ones who think love has to do something with art I would advise a sky dancing therapy with Medora Chevalier, after that you will hate love so much that your mind will be clean.

Stem van Helsing: Want to give pleasure to others?

SaveMe Oh: You don’t give pleasure to others, you force art upon them as long as it takes to make them say: “Thank you SaveMe, it was a pleasure”.

5. Which of the following do you think creativity has most to do with?

Stem van Helsing: Bringing ideas together?

SaveMe Oh: Creative people come with a tsunami of ideas, big shit for the real artist is that they are all so incredible boring, pretentious or so Dada Fluxus that even the teapot has forgotten why the Campbell Tomato soup was flushed away in the Duchamp Urinoir before the hippo could paint her lips with it.

Stem van Helsing: Relationships?

SaveMe Oh: I once had a relationship with Georg Janick, Jayjay Zifanwe, Josina Burgess, Igor Ballyhoo, Flora Nordenskiold, Quan Lavender and Marmaduke Arado but they all turned out to be heavy roadblocks for art.

Stem van Helsing: Intimacy?

SaveMe Oh: Virtual fucking in a virtual world is as dumb as having walls, kitchens, roofs or bedrooms. You ever ordered a virtual pizza, and did it taste good?

Stem van Helsing: Natural instincts?

SaveMe Oh: My natural instinct tells me to be on the right place on the right moment.

6. One of your works has just been presented to the public, but it hasn’t been well-received.

Stem van Helsing: You don’t mind. It doesn’t belong to you anymore?

SaveMe Oh: I don’t mind???? Are you crazy? Of course I mind. I will not rest a second until all the suckers who say they don’t like it invite me to present them the work.

Stem van Helsing: You obviously didn’t communicate what you meant very well.

SaveMe Oh: I will visit them with my baseball bat and do some extra effort in the communication spectrum.

Stem van Helsing: They just don’t understand it.

SaveMe Oh: Of course they don’t understand it. That is the definition of an audience. An audience is stupid. They need time to understand it.

Stem van Helsing: You think it’s a shame they aren’t able to enjoy it the way you did?

SaveMe Oh: It’s a fucking shame that those pretentious snobs as simowners, curators and wannabe artists don’t enjoy it because the liberation of art in virtual worlds could already be years behind us.

7. You think you would enjoy:

Stem van Helsing: Destroying your work by burning it?

SaveMe Oh: I only ritual burn myself every year so the witch hunters don’t have all the trouble.

Stem van Helsing: Talking about your art to others at a conference?

SaveMe Oh: On a conference, on my blog, during boring openings of others, always I will talk about my art until everybody gets the idea.

Stem van Helsing: Spending months rehearsing?

SaveMe Oh: When art is your natural way of being you don’t have to rehearse because everything you do is automatically art.

Stem van Helsing: Writing your autobiography.

SaveMe Oh: All kind of art historians are busy with that; we only have to wait who is the quickest. So there is absolutely no need I do it myself.

8. Which quotes about art you like best?

‘The great advantage about quoting myself is that I never have to listen to the shit of others.’ (SaveMe Oh)

‘The party is where I am’ (SaveMe Oh)

‘To be able to think outside the box it doesn’t hurt to lock yourself up inside a box once in a while’ (SaveMe Oh)

‘Plagiarism is necessary, progress implies it. Copy it, but correct it. Ideas can improve. Erase the false idea within the work, and insert the correction.’ (SaveMe Oh)

I hope this is enough for my therapist to get the full picture!

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