The Fugitive

After his misbehavior with a giant megaprim during a SaveMe Oh event Solo Mornington, Upper dictator of the fraudulent LEA (Licking Every A$$) organisation went on the run. Help us catch him so he can be replaced by a sane person.

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Listen up, ladies and gentlemen! Our fugitive has been on the run. Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injury, is 4 miles an hour which gives us a radius of 6 miles! What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at 15 miles! Our fugitive’s name is Solo Mornington. Go get him.

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I didn’t kill anybody. Leave me alone!

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We were just informed by the U.S. Marshal’s Office that Solo Mornington is alive and well and living in the city of Seattle. Now you all know in what high regard I hold the scumbag. So I am personally donating a bottle of twelve-year-old Scotch to whoever puts the collar on this quack.

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Okay get a cane pole, go catch the fish that ate him.

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So, he showed up not dead yet. Let that be a lesson to you boys and girls: don’t ever argue with the big dog, big dog is always right.

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That ought to make him easy to catch. Hounds! I want hounds on both banks of this river for two miles upstream and downstream. You guys got a search-and-rescue team in this county? Get them down here and drag the bottom of this spillway. How come they have’nt turned off the water?

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All right, let’s go over it again from the top. What time did he arrive at the house?

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You almost got away with it, didn’t you? I know all about it. I can prove it.

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