I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman

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“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”

Igor Ballyhoo’s face looked as innocent as one of his mesh baby’s but it couldn’t calm his adoptive mother Constrictor Solo down.

“You think I believe that?” she yelled, “A few days ago I re-opend the UTSA sim and the first thing I read are two blog posts about your contact with that woman.”

“Four years I have hidden you on UTSA grounds when you came as a refugee from Europe, trying to escape that woman and the first thing you do is run back to her for a one night stand”.

Igor didn’t dare to look his adoptive mother in the eyes, nervous he was cutting scissor after scissor out of white paper.

“And stop with cutting those fucking scissors, they are too avant-garde, I don’t want them. You continue to assemblage the Susa mesh heads Rose gave you and glue them together with Bryn’s cogwheels. I want the UTSA sim full with those moving Susa heads as Bryn already dropped the dead rabbits all over the place.”Or you want me to replace you with Mistero Hifeng? You think you are the only one who can glue mesh baby heads together?”

“Daddy liked my scissors” Igor replied with a thin voice.

Constrictor Solo exploded; “Shut the fuck up, you moron.” Daddy Solo Mornington already is busy for years to seal off the northern part of our protectorate. LEA is almost SaveMe free; here in southern UTSA we haven’t seen a glimpse of her anymore because our tactics to disguise you in woman clothes was finally successful. Why couldn’t you just be Rebeca Bashly for a little while longer? But no, you had to blow up your muscles and run back as a beaten doggie to that woman to explore her with your cigar.”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”, Igor’s voice was not more than a sighing whisper.

“At last Solo and I have all so called artists in our pocket, paid Uncle Jayjay off so he would stop with UWA  and then you with your horny actions put everything on quicksand again.” Furiously Constrictor Solo was spitting out the words when she noticed her feet where getting wet, she was standing in a dirty pool of yellow water. “What shit is this?”

Igor pointed up in a tree “gravity is a mistake.” A shiny white urinoir was hanging upside down on a low hanging branch.

“I guess Eupalinos Ugaijn’s morning urine is dripping on you, he didn’t solve all gravity issues yet” Igor said with a cautious smile. But the smile vanished in the blink of an eye when Constrictor Solo smacked him in his face and his cigar flew with a shallow curve right in the face of one of Bryn’s dead rabbits.

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