I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman

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“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”

Igor Ballyhoo’s face looked as innocent as one of his mesh baby’s but it couldn’t calm his adoptive mother Constrictor Solo down.

“You think I believe that?” she yelled, “A few days ago I re-opend the UTSA sim and the first thing I read are two blog posts about your contact with that woman.”

“Four years I have hidden you on UTSA grounds when you came as a refugee from Europe, trying to escape that woman and the first thing you do is run back to her for a one night stand”.

Igor didn’t dare to look his adoptive mother in the eyes, nervous he was cutting scissor after scissor out of white paper.

“And stop with cutting those fucking scissors, they are too avant-garde, I don’t want them. You continue to assemblage the Susa mesh heads Rose gave you and glue them together with Bryn’s cogwheels. I want the UTSA sim full with those moving Susa heads as Bryn already dropped the dead rabbits all over the place.”Or you want me to replace you with Mistero Hifeng? You think you are the only one who can glue mesh baby heads together?”

“Daddy liked my scissors” Igor replied with a thin voice.

Constrictor Solo exploded; “Shut the fuck up, you moron.” Daddy Solo Mornington already is busy for years to seal off the northern part of our protectorate. LEA is almost SaveMe free; here in southern UTSA we haven’t seen a glimpse of her anymore because our tactics to disguise you in woman clothes was finally successful. Why couldn’t you just be Rebeca Bashly for a little while longer? But no, you had to blow up your muscles and run back as a beaten doggie to that woman to explore her with your cigar.”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”, Igor’s voice was not more than a sighing whisper.

“At last Solo and I have all so called artists in our pocket, paid Uncle Jayjay off so he would stop with UWA  and then you with your horny actions put everything on quicksand again.” Furiously Constrictor Solo was spitting out the words when she noticed her feet where getting wet, she was standing in a dirty pool of yellow water. “What shit is this?”

Igor pointed up in a tree “gravity is a mistake.” A shiny white urinoir was hanging upside down on a low hanging branch.

“I guess Eupalinos Ugaijn’s morning urine is dripping on you, he didn’t solve all gravity issues yet” Igor said with a cautious smile. But the smile vanished in the blink of an eye when Constrictor Solo smacked him in his face and his cigar flew with a shallow curve right in the face of one of Bryn’s dead rabbits.

The Arousing State Of Denial

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Igor Ballyhoo: I just spoke to Rebeca, she told me that u seen her few days ago and called her Igor again.

SaveMe Oh: You will know better than me.

Igor Ballyhoo: Do you really think we are one person?

SaveMe Oh: It doesn’t matter what I think, it matters what I decide. And I have decided you two are the same. Dont ask me for proof. I don’t have it.

Igor Ballyhoo: I understand that but I see one problem that is very low. That is denying someones existence.

SaveMe Oh: Maybe it triggers someones existence

Igor Ballyhoo: I think basic right of every person is to be acknowledged as entity

SaveMe Oh: You acknowledge her, so she can already be happy. Or is she longing very much for my recognition?

Igor Ballyhoo: It is not about being happy, we all live in hope we will leave some kind of trace of our existence.

SaveMe Oh: Or should I say your recognition?

Igor Ballyhoo: I don’t think she gives a fuck.

SaveMe Oh: Than whats your problem when you don’t give a fuck. Sorry, she…

Igor Ballyhoo: But it really seams to me as something beyond wrong.

SaveMe Oh: Igor, when you need an alt in SL, it’s prefectly fine with me. I myself am acused of having hundreds. Now you hear me screaming?

Igor Ballyhoo: I have alt but Rebeca is a person. Beside I would never make a female alt, is not in my nature.

SaveMe Oh: When Rebeca loves to have a Igor Ballyhoo avi or vice versa is fine with me and of course you would never have a female alt, thats why I love you, that strong muscles, your masculin head, I just love it. Shall we date or do you have to play Rebeca tonight?

Igor Ballyhoo: Why did I had any thought that you could understand or care? I admit, I am stupid.

SaveMe Oh: Hey, dont know why you let Rebeca use you as your mailman, when you two are the same it would be more easy she would contact me. So yes you are right and are stupid. But your body is gorgeous.

I recommend a good guide for Rebeca Bashly's work

Dear Diary

My friends and I couldn’t believe it when the rezdayparty that was organised for me was cancelled at the last moment in MadPee Land because they thought it was more important to do a charity, to feed some poor kids in Africa a month, instead of celebrating my 7th rezday. The only one who was happy was my daddy, dear diary, because now he didn’t had to organise anything for me and he could waste his time on chasing the half woman Claudia666 Jewel or feed his own smiles with his fat groupies.

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All alone, dear diary, I had to spend my rezday and none of my friends came by to bring me a present or make a nice punch for me and I had no other option than cry myself to sleep. Only the fact that last year I got a shipload of Kleenex for my rezday brought me through the darkest night of my young life.

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But the next morning, dear diary, I took a firm decision; ‘If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain’. I decided to force my rezday upon all those ignorant cold hearted cruel people who don’t know what it means to express some gratitude. And to make them feel ashamed for once and for all, dear diary, I called it a REZ WEEK, instead of rezday. Now that will teach them.

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On the first day of my rezweek, dear diary I went to Moya land where some children from other classes had put some drawing s on a wall and called it an exhibition. Of course nobody took any attention on this stuff on the wall as I began immediately to set up my rez day party surroundings and rez day party interiors and in a blink of an eye everybody was happy and dancing. Now was Moya with his silly sheep never a big fan of me as I am, as my dear sister Bryn, also in the sheep business, but he behaved as a gentleman and pretend to be not aware, hiding behind his “I not do speke inglish” masquerade. And as a nice uncle he shot a party movie. The only problem he had was to find the stop button so he filmed a lot of rubbish before he found me. You better start to watch only at 6.08

On the second day of my rezweek, dear diary, I headed to the gallery of Aneli Abeyante where again somebody did something on a wall but nobody was paying any attention as I opened up my party kit. Dear Aneli was in a state where her quantity of alveolar ventilation of carbon dioxide exceeds her body’s production of carbon dioxide but she survived. And it was incredible sweet of her to have two winners of the French Idols Competition singing for me, exclusive for my rez week. Unfortunately, dear diary I forgot their names, but next year we will have new idols so who cares?

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On the third day of my rezweek, dear diary, my friends Cat Shilova, Snowbody Cortes, Thirza Ember, Josef K., Fuschia Nightfire, among others were surprised when I took over the Loop Club for some Deep Progressive Wearing and Deep Tech Attaching. They even got more thrilled when my sweet sister SaveMe Olihenge showed up giving Ampel an experience that he didn’t had since 1959.

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All night we were also waiting for the participation of my dear friends the Duke of Arado and his dear wife without whom last year’s parties were no parties but they were too much involved with voluntary work in the Rebeca Bashly Abuse and Mental Health Treatment Facility for avatars, so they couldn’t make it.

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On the fourth day of my rezweek, dear diary, I tried to restore the equilibrium of some Italians but they only gave me 5 minutes which is far too less to restore an equilibrium for Italians, so we headed for the space base of Shindra where they also had some problems with their Yin and Yang in cyberspace so we all ended up in the deep sea of some far away planet. Luckily we brought some singing leek from Mother Earth so the party continued in the cosy surroundings of the Nighthawks cafe and things went really wild when Kandinsky Beaumont and Cat Shilova start to make fun of Quan Lavender in a hot choreography of sticks and leek. Some even mentioned they heard the sound of tingling ovaries, but that is very strange, that deep under water.

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On the fifth day of my rezweek, dear diary, we fooled the entire crew of MadPee Land by throwing a huge party there without feeding any smile at all, we eat everything ourselves! And we refuse to auction Kiana Writer, Thirza Ember, Fuschia Nightfire or Snowbody Cortes as we are rich enough.

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On the sixth day of my rezweek, dear diary, we were waiting for the opening of the Museum of Heroic Woman of which we are sure we will be part off as soon we have grown up. But when I want to contribute to the festivities a strange man IM-ed me:

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AlucardMaxwell: Leave the poofs and things off, ty. So tell me why you did what you did

SaveMe Oh: Celebrating my rez week.

AlucardMaxwell: Ok but you don’t have to be rude and have poofs and hit people with a bat.

SaveMe Oh: Your butler was extremely rude to one of my friends

AlucardMaxwell: Yes and I talk to them all.

SaveMe Oh: And we offered you the best party ever but you choose to sit alone in your silly castle.

AlucardMaxwell: So you came here to just disrupt everything? You know it is not nice to come to things like this and do what you did. That is why I did what I did!

SaveMe Oh: You banned heroic woman, shame on you!!!! MAN!

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Dear Diary, in a desperate state of shock I did not know what to do anymore to continue with my Rez Week. There was one option but that was so disgusting, so filthy and so bad for my health as I am highly allergic and anti-fur and anti-animal…but I had no other option and went with all my friends to the furry fair to continue the party. I have to say we were well received but nevertheless I took out my largest constructions to make sure the most little and creepy furries were covered completely.

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The biggest surprise of whole week I got, dear diary, when a mystery guest appeared. But he doesn’t fool me. There was the huge and gorgeous body of Igor Ballyhoo. He escaped from the Rebeca Bashly Abuse and Mental Health Treatment Facility for avatars, just to bring me a kiss for my rez week. How sweet is that?

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On the seventh day of my rezweek, dear diary, I rest and saw it was good.

PS:

I try to rest, dear diary but my friends begged and begged and begged. Now tonight I was not in the mood anymore to jump in somewhere so I found me a nice quiet empty piece of land next door to Quan Lavender in Malibu and not soon after my dear friends fall out of the sky to be with me, my dear brother Lemonodo, Cherry Manga, Claudia Jewel, Pixels Sideways, Scottius Polke, Iono Allen and the gang who was with me all week. Of course I also asked dear Quan to come over but she was too busy undressing from her Cat suit she had on earlier that night for the Cat Carnival in LEA 20. Only late at night we made maybe a little bit too much noise, but I really told all my friends: “we have to stop at midnight when my rez week s over”.

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Fuschia Nightfire: Quan just posted on FB: “Stalkers at my home right now! Nice people! And as you can see, several are in my friendlist!”

Thirza Ember: This is someone’s house? It looks like a field. Where are the horses

SaveMe Oh: Horses coming

Thirza Ember: She sent to me also

Fuschia Nightfire: Is that supposed to make us go?

Thirza Ember: She is a true journalist. She reaches out to the public. I could learn a lot

SaveMe Oh: I can’t read it, she blocked me on FB

Thirza Ember: Now you know how Marma feels when I say something clever. Except… not really.

Fuschia Nightfire: Oh blimey, I was thinking about going to bed, now I feel I have to stay longer

Cat Shilova: Equestrian art!!

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Snow: It’s a snapshot with the list of avatars here, obviously friends in bold

SaveMe Oh: Cat is not her friend? What happened?

Cat Shilova: Just noticed a blank in my friendlist

SaveMe Oh: It happens sometimes

Fuschia Nightfire: Is this actually Quan’s land?

Thirza Ember: No, look at the address

Fuschia Nightfire: That is what I thought

Thirza Ember: This is up for rent

Cat Shilova: So we are listed

Fuschia Nightfire: So she can’t really say we are stalking her at her home

SaveMe Oh: This is free land. One day I was kicked out to here and I loved the grass.

Snow: Yep fuschia, we are stallking and stop

Cat Shilova: Are we doomed?

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How Licking Every Ass Give A Smelly Tongue But A Fat Belly

Also always wondered how Jayjay Zifanwe found funds of millions of Linden to support his Art IKEA in UWA or how Quan Lavender get all those free sims to do her charity work for her own blogs (give me a freebie and I write about you)? Here is how it works. It’s called the Licking Every Ass (LEA) doctrine.

For the record they set up a grant system for the LEA sims. Poor silly artists do their best to write an ambitious plan in the hope to get for some time a LEA sim, but in reality Solo Mornington, PatriciaAnne Daviau, Quan Lavender and Jayjay Zifanwe sell the sims to the highest bidder so they have funds to play the art mecenasses. And that’s why we see now a marine base full of submarines in LEA 28, The Portuguese tourist board in LEA 19 or exclusive yachts and bungalows with sexrugs in LEA 25

891573_679607138716020_711234993_oKikas as a volunteer art guide in LEA

SaveMe Oh: Get lost, doggie of Solo Mornington

PatriciaAnne Daviau: LOL

SaveMe Oh: Do you also get part of the bribe money to let these kind of things be build on an artsim?

PatriciaAnne Daviau: What kind of things?

SaveMe Oh: Things bought on marketplace, submarines, ships, homes, Jacuzzi, sexrugs, beach homes, transport parking lots.

PatriciaAnne Daviau: I am checking on all of it now

SaveMe Oh: Check what? If they have paid you enough for it?

SaveMe Oh: Are you going to delete the sim?

PatriciaAnne Daviau: The owner of that sim is JayJay Zifanwe and I have pinged him about it

SaveMe Oh: Omg the corruption is really deep spread

 

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Bringing art to a Marine Base before being kicked out in LEA 28

How funny that a day after my visit LEA 25 and LEA 28 are closed.

Other tricks that can be used are the following:

If you don’t want to be discovered as a LEA member but do want a sim, take an alt with another name: Bryn Oh changed in the past in Cica Ghost, Oberon Onmura has now his alt Takni to continue. And Igor Ballyhoo is also a welcome guest as long he appears as Rebeca Bashly.

The Siege Of Panzerkreuzer Potemkin

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`I prefer to call you Ampel, Ampel on red, Ampel on green,’ Quan Lavender said with her typical dark German accent `but let’s cut the crap now, what is SaveMe up to? I always share my info with you for your blog, now I want something in return’.

It was not strange Ampel was compared so often with a moose as the face he showed was typical. `SaveMe gave the Swedish press the exclusive rights with a sneak preview. You really think she would like me to share with you her plans now you are a LEA committee member? Or do you have something hot to offer me?’

Quan never had heard the call from a moose in the wild but the sound Ampel was producing could well be a perfect imitation of such a powerful animal.

`I could lick your balls but the rumour goes they are not easy to find?’ Quan said with a tiny voice, as if she was already worried what it would do to her exclusive lipstick.

`I thought LEA was more from licking every ass’ Ampel said with a cruel grin on his face when he turned his ass in the face of Miss Perfect.

Before Quan Lavender could stand on guard at the LEA sims she had to go change her nice dress as this gift from Rebeca Bashly she was wearing was ruined completely with Ampels shit. She jumped in a Betty Omo but realised later that it was not the cleverest choice; she was like a walking amusement park. But much more time to bother herself with that was not possible as SaveMe was already appearing on her radar in LEA 28. As she had fucked up completely with her actions the day before, her boss Solo Mornington ordered her to just wake him up when she saw movement and then get the hell out of there. `All this incompetent woman around me are killing me’ he had yelled at her.

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It was the Panzerkreuzer Potemkin SaveMe Oh had chosen to be her gallery of the night. To freak Solo Mornington out she put a large amount of her paintings up for sale there. Something she knows was strictly forbidden by the dictatorship of LEA. But brave SaveMe Oh dare to stand up against the dark forces.

`Solo is coming, fasten your seatbelts’ SaveMe said to her friends Kikas & Marma who where helping her out. `I am going to try the sweet approach.’

And with the sweetest voice SaveMe Oh could produce she said to Solo Mornington who was entering the interior of the Panzerkreuzer Potemkin `Solo, I love you. Make peace, not war. I sold here today for 1000 linden, how much for the rent? A small bribe maybe? Can I buy you a new hat?

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Solo Mornington was not completely prepared for this unexpected charm and mumbled  `No rent. It’s free. Free as in beer, free as in libre.’

SaveMe Oh hugged Solo by surprise and said `you see you have deep down inside a good spot? Why you hide that so much?’

Solo Mornington, at unease with the situation, locked in the arms of SaveMe was searching for some air to speak `I don’t hide it at all. You’ve refused to see it, trapped as you are in your horrid persona. Your avatar of nastiness and horror.’ But another big kiss of SaveMe prevented him from bringing out another word.

What could have end up as a nasty encounter in an environment of war and destruction was turned into an event of openness, freedom and art, just by some simple smart tricks of SaveMe Oh. Solo Mornington was watching with open mouth all the beauty that was created around him by SaveMe, Kikas and Marma.

`You really think I can also be saved someday?’ Solo asked.

Marmaduke Arado putted a warm arm around Solo’s shoulder and replied `You could start by admitting too that SaveMe is a great artist.