Graveyard Safari

As soon I announced I was going on safari in Africa, herds of minions and acolytes couldn’t wait to do the same in virtual worlds resulting in the sad events called Hypergrid Safari. The organisers assume that it would be a good trick to light up their loneliness by persuade other hopeless lonely souls to show up to sit all night on a zebra, elephant or giraffe and take pics of each other to share the retro feel with each other of the beginning of virtual worlds. `Oh look my noob hair’ they scream exited to each other.

The sadness of open sims is exposed in full glory when you see the caravan of elderly cat ladies on zebra’s visiting the buildings of other almost died relics hiding in a corner of their own piece of hypergrid and then have no other option than babble about days of long gone primglueing.

Zebra crossing

Just when you thought people finally get the only reason virtual worlds exist; the possibility of interaction, even your dearest friends drop back to visiting primglued building sites, as if you didn’t teach them anything the last few years. They live in the assumption that the rumour of a dying Secondlife could be avoided by doing more of the same again in some dark corner of their own hard disks.

Of course it is obvious everybody sinks in a pool of deep despair when I take a few weeks off to enjoy my well deserved holidays but to see everybody fall back so quick to mediocre levels we all thought we had buried forever is scaring and disturbing.

Obey Your Leader

Thirza Ember: Hello my leader!

Solo Mornington: Hope you are not thinking you are an artist now?

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Thirza Ember: Me? I made nothing of this, I swear! All my things are well hidden from your eyes on my own grid. You look like Stelarc, if you allow me to say

Solo Mornington: Stelarc would wish he looked like me

Thirza Ember: He has 3 ears

Solo Mornington: My ears are situated much better

Thirza Ember: I think that hippo is horny, hihi.

Solo Mornington: I prefer you won’t make suggestions in a sexual context

Thirza Ember: Let me delete the hippos if they annoy you

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Solo Mornington: I prefer not to add any prims here in this non-LEA land

Thirza Ember: Me neither, really!

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Solo Mornington giving directions to Junivers Stockholm and Ampel Goosson

Ampel Goosson: Interesting artist statement, mister Mornington!

Solo Mornington: If I may say so myself, a giant step for the international art world. Why you don’t apply for a LEA sim to do something serious?

Ampel Goosson: May I offer you my sweet smelling purse instead?

Thirza Ember: I have no money so I would be happy to accept some LEA charity.

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Cat Shilova: OH NO, Mister Solo Morninton

Kandinsky Beaumont: Hi!

Cat Shilova: If I had known this was the dressing code I would have come naked of course?

Solo Mornington: Ladies, I came here to offer my LEA experience

Thirza Ember: How can we accept such a great offer?

Kandinsky Beaumont: Only in my wildest dreams I could think Solo Mornington would visit my small little sim.

Cat Shilova: It’s really a big honour Kandi!

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Solo Mornington: I want to lead this all in a structured and decent way

Cat Shilova: Decent?

Solo Mornington: I know this is a difficult word for you, Cat, but yes. Decent.

Cat Shilova: My question was not a protest; I was overwhelmed by a feeling of great hope for the near future.

Don’t You Dare To Claim My Stalkers Are Your Stalkers

Why should a Fluxus Dadaist like Eupalinos Ugajin not make us all dress up like kittens when he heard SaveMe Oh hates animals? (And it was carnival, wasn’t it) and why should he not ask Noizz Papp to redo all his desert music into cat sounds? As it’s just one touch on a synthesizer keyboard to make it Meooowww. And why should he not have a private party for all his mutual cat lovers from facebook and SL to exchange some deep insights on the modern art world?

Iono Allen: hello everybody

Haveit Neox: hi Iono

CapCat Ragu: Hi Iono

Laurence Burnstein: hello iono

Popcorn Erebus (procyon7): hi

Ziki Questi: hi Iono

Eupalinos Ugajin: some anims in the microphone if you wish to pratice some gym

Misprint (misprint.thursday): hi all:)

Quan Lavender: Hi Misprint

Laurence Burnstein: hi misprint

Haveit Neox: hi :))

Sina Souza (sinalein): sport is murderous

Scottius (scottius.polke): misprint hallloo

Bryn Oh: hi iono and misprint

Scottius (scottius.polke): and iono!

Misprint (misprint.thursday) pokes iono

Haveit Neox: Hi Bryn :))

Scottius (scottius.polke) pokes everybody

Haveit Neox: hey Scottius

Bryn Oh: hey haveit

Iono Allen: hehe Mis

Scottius (scottius.polke): haveit!

Rad Hand: Whale calls

Simotron Aquila: hello Iono

Iono Allen: hello Simo !

Kikas Babenco: hi Iono

Simotron Aquila:

Haveit Neox: Nice to see you

Iono Allen: Hey Kikas!

Ziki Questi: hi livio

Simotron Aquila: hi Livio

Piedra Lubitsch: hellooo

Eupalinos Ugajin: hello Piedra

Iono Allen: hi Piedra

Iono Allen: Lunata!

Simotron Aquila: hi Piedra :))

Lunata Lunasea: Iono, bon soir AGAIN….

Motita (moti.moody): Hi Piedra `-´

Piedra Lubitsch: :))

Iono Allen: ah !  I didn’t see…

Thirza Ember:  hello all

Eupalinos Ugajin: More food for the cat!

Eupalinos Ugajin: hello

Iono Allen: hey Thirza!

Simotron Aquila: hellooo

Kikas Babenco: hello Thirza

Thirza Ember: hey you guys!!!

And just when Quan Lavender was running back to her house to change her cat outfit for something more sexy I was throwing the 7th day of my rez week party on an empty piece of land, next door to her house when she start screaming on her facebook page!

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Behind the mountains in the back is the land of Quan 

Quan Lavender: Stalkers at my home right now! Nice people! And as you can see, several are in my friendlist! (With Thirza Ember, Scottius Polke, Fuschia Nightfire, Snowbody Cortes, and others)

Fuschia Nightfire: We were stalking SaveMe Oh

Snowbody Cortes:  It’s a “Land for sale” , at least that my viewer say !

Cat Shilova: It was NOT at your home, Quan. Btw, I did not even know it was NEAR your place…

Thirza Ember: Removing the photo that clearly shows we were not stalking you… classy.

Duna Gant: O:O ….

Of course his Royal highness the Duke of Arado had to give his reaction immediately now he has chosen the side of the oppressed dictatorships:

The Duke of Arado: So now you are leading a pack of stalkers? It’s getting nicer all the time… I’ll just make a suggestion: you and your accomplices should consult a criminal lawyer in RL and be informed about the possible consequences of your behavior. Just saying. “Cyberstalking and cyberharassment are lumped together along with any way adults use digital technology to torment, harass, intentionally annoy or set their victims up for attacks by unwitting third parties (like hate groups and violent individuals).”

Now these are all heavy accusations and allegations so before the lawyers march in here some other options:

Quan could keep her Cat suit on and jumped in the party and said: Happy Rez day SaveMe Oh. And danced the night away as so much other friends of her were there and did the same.

Quan could have invited the Duke of Arado too as he has lately a big interest in Germany and because he is known as a great contribution to every party. As he really can do more than gets himself in a cat suit and say meoww.

Quan could have run to the home of SaveMe Oh in Two Fish and throw there a contra party at the same time.

Quan even could have unbanned SaveMe and invited her and all her other friends at her home to continue the party there.

And if you all hate SaveMe Oh still so much, why you don’t make her upcoming performance in LEA completely impossible? That will teach her!

Some ideas: Exploding Adolf Hitler particles with loud meowing cat rezzers, An army of marching giant horsedicks or sim covering sign saying REPULGANT COWARD. Just an idea. Of course there is also the other option of participation. It’s all a matter of choice.

Dear Diary

My friends and I couldn’t believe it when the rezdayparty that was organised for me was cancelled at the last moment in MadPee Land because they thought it was more important to do a charity, to feed some poor kids in Africa a month, instead of celebrating my 7th rezday. The only one who was happy was my daddy, dear diary, because now he didn’t had to organise anything for me and he could waste his time on chasing the half woman Claudia666 Jewel or feed his own smiles with his fat groupies.

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All alone, dear diary, I had to spend my rezday and none of my friends came by to bring me a present or make a nice punch for me and I had no other option than cry myself to sleep. Only the fact that last year I got a shipload of Kleenex for my rezday brought me through the darkest night of my young life.

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But the next morning, dear diary, I took a firm decision; ‘If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain’. I decided to force my rezday upon all those ignorant cold hearted cruel people who don’t know what it means to express some gratitude. And to make them feel ashamed for once and for all, dear diary, I called it a REZ WEEK, instead of rezday. Now that will teach them.

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On the first day of my rezweek, dear diary I went to Moya land where some children from other classes had put some drawing s on a wall and called it an exhibition. Of course nobody took any attention on this stuff on the wall as I began immediately to set up my rez day party surroundings and rez day party interiors and in a blink of an eye everybody was happy and dancing. Now was Moya with his silly sheep never a big fan of me as I am, as my dear sister Bryn, also in the sheep business, but he behaved as a gentleman and pretend to be not aware, hiding behind his “I not do speke inglish” masquerade. And as a nice uncle he shot a party movie. The only problem he had was to find the stop button so he filmed a lot of rubbish before he found me. You better start to watch only at 6.08

On the second day of my rezweek, dear diary, I headed to the gallery of Aneli Abeyante where again somebody did something on a wall but nobody was paying any attention as I opened up my party kit. Dear Aneli was in a state where her quantity of alveolar ventilation of carbon dioxide exceeds her body’s production of carbon dioxide but she survived. And it was incredible sweet of her to have two winners of the French Idols Competition singing for me, exclusive for my rez week. Unfortunately, dear diary I forgot their names, but next year we will have new idols so who cares?

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On the third day of my rezweek, dear diary, my friends Cat Shilova, Snowbody Cortes, Thirza Ember, Josef K., Fuschia Nightfire, among others were surprised when I took over the Loop Club for some Deep Progressive Wearing and Deep Tech Attaching. They even got more thrilled when my sweet sister SaveMe Olihenge showed up giving Ampel an experience that he didn’t had since 1959.

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All night we were also waiting for the participation of my dear friends the Duke of Arado and his dear wife without whom last year’s parties were no parties but they were too much involved with voluntary work in the Rebeca Bashly Abuse and Mental Health Treatment Facility for avatars, so they couldn’t make it.

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On the fourth day of my rezweek, dear diary, I tried to restore the equilibrium of some Italians but they only gave me 5 minutes which is far too less to restore an equilibrium for Italians, so we headed for the space base of Shindra where they also had some problems with their Yin and Yang in cyberspace so we all ended up in the deep sea of some far away planet. Luckily we brought some singing leek from Mother Earth so the party continued in the cosy surroundings of the Nighthawks cafe and things went really wild when Kandinsky Beaumont and Cat Shilova start to make fun of Quan Lavender in a hot choreography of sticks and leek. Some even mentioned they heard the sound of tingling ovaries, but that is very strange, that deep under water.

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On the fifth day of my rezweek, dear diary, we fooled the entire crew of MadPee Land by throwing a huge party there without feeding any smile at all, we eat everything ourselves! And we refuse to auction Kiana Writer, Thirza Ember, Fuschia Nightfire or Snowbody Cortes as we are rich enough.

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On the sixth day of my rezweek, dear diary, we were waiting for the opening of the Museum of Heroic Woman of which we are sure we will be part off as soon we have grown up. But when I want to contribute to the festivities a strange man IM-ed me:

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AlucardMaxwell: Leave the poofs and things off, ty. So tell me why you did what you did

SaveMe Oh: Celebrating my rez week.

AlucardMaxwell: Ok but you don’t have to be rude and have poofs and hit people with a bat.

SaveMe Oh: Your butler was extremely rude to one of my friends

AlucardMaxwell: Yes and I talk to them all.

SaveMe Oh: And we offered you the best party ever but you choose to sit alone in your silly castle.

AlucardMaxwell: So you came here to just disrupt everything? You know it is not nice to come to things like this and do what you did. That is why I did what I did!

SaveMe Oh: You banned heroic woman, shame on you!!!! MAN!

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Dear Diary, in a desperate state of shock I did not know what to do anymore to continue with my Rez Week. There was one option but that was so disgusting, so filthy and so bad for my health as I am highly allergic and anti-fur and anti-animal…but I had no other option and went with all my friends to the furry fair to continue the party. I have to say we were well received but nevertheless I took out my largest constructions to make sure the most little and creepy furries were covered completely.

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The biggest surprise of whole week I got, dear diary, when a mystery guest appeared. But he doesn’t fool me. There was the huge and gorgeous body of Igor Ballyhoo. He escaped from the Rebeca Bashly Abuse and Mental Health Treatment Facility for avatars, just to bring me a kiss for my rez week. How sweet is that?

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On the seventh day of my rezweek, dear diary, I rest and saw it was good.

PS:

I try to rest, dear diary but my friends begged and begged and begged. Now tonight I was not in the mood anymore to jump in somewhere so I found me a nice quiet empty piece of land next door to Quan Lavender in Malibu and not soon after my dear friends fall out of the sky to be with me, my dear brother Lemonodo, Cherry Manga, Claudia Jewel, Pixels Sideways, Scottius Polke, Iono Allen and the gang who was with me all week. Of course I also asked dear Quan to come over but she was too busy undressing from her Cat suit she had on earlier that night for the Cat Carnival in LEA 20. Only late at night we made maybe a little bit too much noise, but I really told all my friends: “we have to stop at midnight when my rez week s over”.

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Fuschia Nightfire: Quan just posted on FB: “Stalkers at my home right now! Nice people! And as you can see, several are in my friendlist!”

Thirza Ember: This is someone’s house? It looks like a field. Where are the horses

SaveMe Oh: Horses coming

Thirza Ember: She sent to me also

Fuschia Nightfire: Is that supposed to make us go?

Thirza Ember: She is a true journalist. She reaches out to the public. I could learn a lot

SaveMe Oh: I can’t read it, she blocked me on FB

Thirza Ember: Now you know how Marma feels when I say something clever. Except… not really.

Fuschia Nightfire: Oh blimey, I was thinking about going to bed, now I feel I have to stay longer

Cat Shilova: Equestrian art!!

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Snow: It’s a snapshot with the list of avatars here, obviously friends in bold

SaveMe Oh: Cat is not her friend? What happened?

Cat Shilova: Just noticed a blank in my friendlist

SaveMe Oh: It happens sometimes

Fuschia Nightfire: Is this actually Quan’s land?

Thirza Ember: No, look at the address

Fuschia Nightfire: That is what I thought

Thirza Ember: This is up for rent

Cat Shilova: So we are listed

Fuschia Nightfire: So she can’t really say we are stalking her at her home

SaveMe Oh: This is free land. One day I was kicked out to here and I loved the grass.

Snow: Yep fuschia, we are stallking and stop

Cat Shilova: Are we doomed?

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That She May Save You In 2014 Again

Save 2014

When I am your friend you are Saved, but few people realise that when I am your enemy you are also Saved.

Undisputed evidence shows that when I am not your friend or enemy anymore there is a dark and painful road to nowhere lying ahead of you.

When Josina Burgess was my fulltime enemy after I refused to be her virtual daughter she was busy day and night to get me banned, killed and removed wherever she could and organised large mobs of fellow combatants to fight the shared evil. Now she has gone back to RL to force people into a marriage or promotes the elderly aquarellists.

Also my beloved enemy Merlina Rokocoko, who even forced her husband Newbab Zsigmond to sent a lawyer to me because I punched her on the nose in one of my machinima’s has sank back in the deep swamp of forced labour, the everyday compulsive upload from a pic from her son Tristan.

Even my dear friends Kikas & Marmaduke seem to be blown away once in a while by my Typhoon Haiyan-like behaviour and seeking shelter in the endless peace of an open sim. Desperate they reconstruct the “good old days” of AM Radio and scream from signs: RESPECT ART and DON’T TOUCH to find out shocked there are no living creatures around to even touch anything. The hopeful rezzed crime scenes never saw a good victim. The superhero that is finally free needs his nostalgia to keep the illusion alive he is still a freedom fighter and we come to the shocking conclusion that freedom without rules gives us nothing to fight for and without fighting we are dead.

When I appear in Open Sim to meet my friends Thirza Ember, Cherry Manga or Veleda Lorakeet and take the place over in 1 second they are crying from happiness after being there alone for months.

Open sim AIRE Mille Flux celebrates his one year existing empty and if you want to release them out of their suffering you have to start from scratch by one more time inventing the wheel and copy your stuff for the 1000th time. To get you in they even offer you land of a size that reaches far behind your virtual horizon and a use of millions of prims bringing us back to the virtual stone age where people still thought online worlds are only there to glue prims together. It’s like being on an uninhabited island where you get the freedom to build unlimited sandcastles.

Slowly those blind people are back in a scene from last century, sitting on a couch all night watching television. Seeing what they choose to see but loudly complaining there is nothing interesting on the screen.

Interaction, challenge each other, surprise attacks or upgrading each other seems further away than ever and the only person who completely understood this, Ed Folger, has stopped his valuable contributions.

That’s why I will do even better my very best to Save you all again in 2014 as you all deserve me. But first I go turkey hunting with heavy firecrackers.